Agent Provocateur

Agent Provocateur Undercover

Brianna O'Baby

May 1st | Wedding Belles

My undercover investigations recently took me to the very wicked Temple Bar where the best of British Beauties come to play for one last time before they get hitched! Inspired by the abundance of bars and nightclubs in Dublin's 'cultural quarter', gaggles of girls strut their stuff and spend most of their time doing what girls do best... shopping and socialising! Temple Bar, being notorious for its hen and stag parties, does not disappoint.

Whatever about you 'stags' out there, nothing can compare to the lengths us girls will go to in order to stand out from the crowd! Think Britney Spears' bridesmaids in their matching pink velour tracksuits following her nuptials to Mr Federline, and you will get my point! I even experienced this phenomenon as I tottered off the LUAS on my way to work at 8:45 the other morning... and they had pink suitcases too!! It's great fun to watch the ladies pass in their 'L plates' and veils. They terrorise groups of boys with their alcohol-induced games, and barely remember a thing the following morning.

That's when they come into our little Aladdin's cave, and where better to go than Agent Provocateur in the finest department store Ireland has to offer, Brown Thomas. Especially now that we've come over all romantic (with a devilish twist!) and designed some of the most spectacular wedding lingerie and accessories a blushing bride could dream of? There is nothing I would love more than the thrill of seeing the look on my new husband's face as I peel off that virginal dress, only to reveal the super sexy corset with my seamed white stockings ! Or to just finish him off straight away with the Ivory nipple pasties with baby blue tassels, matching tulle tie-side briefs, and Pom Pom Mules?

We have a fantastic time here listening to sordid tales of previous nights as friends collect Swarovski-covered whips , innocent garters, and not so innocent ouverts. With bright smiles they regale stories about naked laps of their hotels, strippers, and much worse!! You can't even have a quiet meal in Temple Bar without some sort of circus continuing around you. A fireman, who burst onto the scene as I sat in the ThunderRoad Café enjoying dinner with a friend one evening, captured my attention. In front of the entire restaurant, and with the enthusiasm of a bride at a Vera Wang sale, he proceeded to de-robe... He didn't look like he was putting out any fires in the crowd the night I was there! Shrieks and hoots from the ladies told me that he and his banana sidekick were very much appreciated. I would love to have seen where those foxes ended up that night!

But Agent Provocateur does not let you rest once you have found your Adonis... We now have the fabulous Cupid maternity ranges for the aftermath! What would you do without us? Luxurious lingerie to lure him in, followed by a dash of ivory-white to make him glad he asked, and then a taste of Cupid to keep both your fires burning during those 'I-feel-like-a-basketball-has-attached-itself-to-me' months!! So congratulations and good luck to all of those taking the plunge, and be sure to keep us Dublin Agents posted on your naughty antics!

Until next time... Live Long & Provocatively!

Briana O'Baby
Your Emerald Agent

March 06 | She knows exactly what she's doing...

I always thought the most erotic times of year are those seasons that have unexpected weather. Gorgeous bodies everywhere test to see whether it is suitable to strip off or not, and the result is a titillating display of cheeky peeks of flesh that have been concealed for too long. For a little treat, I thought I would do some titillating of my own. I love nothing more than to tease. If flirting is my forte, teasing is my theme.

When I woke up one morning, draped in my Hatty Babydoll Set , and sleepily gazing at my dreamy Adonis, I was struck with a mischievous idea. Without too much protest - perhaps because he was still half asleep - I gently pulled him out of bed and brought him downstairs and outside to our private driveway. There his hot sports car rested, unfortunately not gleaming in the daybreak sun. So with Joy Harmon's scorching performance in 'Cool Hand Luke' burned into my mind, I continued on with the execution of my plan. I freed the silk scarf from my hair, and tied his hands to the railings. I floated towards the car in my already see-through Babydoll Set, and set about washing his other pride and joy.

Imagine the torment he had to endure, poor guy... There was an abundance of suds and bubbles in my mixture; and, as I began to sponge the dirty car down, the soapy water drizzled down my body. The sheer fabric of my pleasure giving lingerie started to cling to the curves of my bottom and breasts as I strained to reach the furthest points of the filthy car. Even when I was behind and out of sight, I allowed him previews of what he would see once I came back into view again. I offered a flash of bum cheek, or stretched my pointed-toed leg out as I leaned into the hot metal. My hair stuck to my face in waves, dripping further onto my chest. I was stained, wet, and getting a little too hot. I bent over to moisten my sponge again in the water, but treated myself by squeezing every last drop over my chest to cool me down. I didn't look his way once, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore his moans and I knew he was going to be able to break free soon as I heard the scarf starting to tear. I carried on cleaning the roof of the car, fully aware that my nipples were rubbing against his windows. God, I'm too bad! When I finally looked over at him, he looked very determined and I wondered what would happen when he was freed? What does that kind of torture do to a man?

Brianna O'Baby
Your Emerald Agent!

December 05 | Santa, Baby...

There's something very distinguished and alluring about a gentleman of a certain age; especially if he has promised you the world if you would just be a good little girl for him! Easy - I'm always very, very good I assure you! At what, I won't divulge at the moment. We're talking about something far more important and that is this older man in my life. He's got a style all of his own, his own business, and is generous to a fault if you do all he desires. I've written and received love letters , but this one takes up a little more time each year. Sean Connery will have to wait until the New Year to be back on my mind...

Dear Santa... Baby...

I realise that you may have already heard a rumour that I've been a naughty girl . Well, you and I know that, while this may be true, I'm naughty in the best way possible and that I truly deserve the Gwendoline Corset with Long Duchess Gloves . I've been planning to wear them with the bottom half of my Nikita set - you know, the suspender belt and cheeky ouverts? If this letter convinces you maybe I can show you?

I don't mean to tease the boys. Really I don't! I've been an angel all year... I can't help what happens when I bend over to innocently pick up something I've dropped, or when I stretch for something up high and one pesky button pops off revealing the latest edition to my (ever expanding) lingerie drawer ! What would you have me do? Think of all the fun I've missed trying to be good for you?

I suppose the best thing for me to do would be to wait to speak to you in person, Santa cutie. I do hope you'll be impressed by my newly trimmed, um... tree... I'll be waiting patiently on the bearskin rug by the fire with a two glasses of VVSOP Cognac to keep us both warm while we thrash it out. I utterly promise that I'll be good that night. I'll even make a special purchase just for you, and give you a lap(land!) dance in a black Top Hat quarter cup string . You just promise me that, after you've peeled off my silk stocking , you'll fill it up?

Brianna O'Baby
Your Emerald Agent!

November 05 | Elevated Pleasures.....

Having spent an exhausting day tottering around in Follies and killer spiked heels , I was ready to drop. So that's what I did... straight into the Crystal Bar at the Beacon. I fell back onto the plush cushions which decorated the four-poster bed style seat I always chose - only fit for Special Agents! With a delicious glass of Baileys Irish Cream in my paw, I continued to wait for my girlfriend who was staying in one of the hotel's suites.

Just as a large dish of something gorgeous started sizzling on a hot plate in the kitchen, I caught sight of something sizzling too... I held his stare for a moment before coolly looking away. When I curled my legs up onto the bed-like seat, and the slit in my pencil skirt rose to reveal the top of my stocking , it delighted me to see that this rearrangement had been enough to recapture his attention. I giggled at this little teasing game I was playing. It amused me while I sat waiting patiently!
When friends call for help (even just with their make-up!) us girls have got to do the dutiful thing. So reluctantly, I slid off my perch and slowly tore myself away from my entertainment. Giving my game's main participant a mischievous wink as I sauntered past, I pressed the button in the elevator of the floor my friend was staying on & stood looking at the most amazing elevator I've ever been in. There was a mini chandelier and the walls were upholstered in leather in that kind of cushion effect.
He stepped in just before the doors closed... this man who illustrated perfect masculinity! My heart jumped but I regained my composure and looked on as he hit the emergency stop button. "I'm sorry, but I had to meet you somehow and this way seems more reasonable than joining you on your bed". I flashed him a smile that told him "I like", and 'She's Lost Control' started playing in the elevator. I slid up against the rail behind me, grabbing for any support I could, and wondered what Mr Sizzle Sizzle's reaction would be to my new Nikita ouverts!! He didn't look like the delicate type as he slowly walked towards me looking like he was on the verge of licking his lips. So tall that, when I rose up on my tippy-toes, my heels slipped out of my heels and I strained to touch his delicious lips. I felt tiny in comparison, but loved the feeling... "I've walked along the edge with no escape, and laughed. She lost control again!" ...

Until next time... Live Long & Provocatively

Brianna O'Baby
Your Emerald Agent!

September 05 | Passion in the park...

Dublin is so magical on a summer's day. Is that because hot men are wandering around with their tops off- Speaking in that oh-so-sexy Colin Farrellesque drawl, or is there something in the Guinness?

I was perched on a grassy Knoll in St Stephens Green with a new guy I was seeing. All of those 'new guy' flutters had been making me restless for the whole morning, so was relieved when he suggested a walk in the park. It seemed so casual, and just what a girl needed on her day off.

He couldn't have looked any better. His tanned skin looked so well on a body that you could fry an Irish breakfast on. It was so hot! It was entirely his fault that things got a bit out of control.... All I did was lick an ice pop to keep me cool. Although, I suppose I knew what I was doing as I brushed the top of it against my slightly open lips when I wasn't sucking! 'Hot boy' had been sitting beside me taking in the view of the crowds rushing around Grafton St, making purchases for that night. I was commenting on the new season's focus on 1930's Hollywood glamour, and that's when he started. He was caressing my back and leaned in closer to see what I was pointing out, but made sure his lips brushed my neck. Now guys and dolls, I can't tell you what this does for me! I was so glad that underneath my string top and tailored shorts lay my secret weapon. The previous day, it had been my great fortune to purchase lingerie so feminine that it would have made George Michael all mine! And there it was, the ruched pink floral straps exposed and a pink cup that gave me a décolleté to rival Pamela's. His fingers casually ran under my strap as he pretended to be interested in whatever I was managing to stutter. As my mind wandered to a happy place where I was discovering every hard edge of his body, I suddenly became very aware of out surroundings; all he had to do was whisper in my ear before we giddily snuck off to an enclosure behind us. Well girls, why deny ourselves these moments of pure fantasy when they present themselves? Though I hope the greens swans weren't disturbed by our high jinks! Phoenix Park next? I'll let you know every detail!

Brianna O'Baby
Your Emerald Agent!