Miss AP’s Little Pink Book: LA
They don’t call it La-La Land for nothing. Last time I was there I got arrested because of an altercation on the motorway with a pickup truck. I was wearing not very much and riding a Segway, which I now know to be illegal. They let me off but take my advice and don’t try it at home kids.
Start off on the rooftop bar of the Erwin Hotel in Venice, with great sweeping views of the Pacific and white leather sofas to be cheesily superior on. The melon margarita is as fresh and devious as an alfresco grope. For your fix of the LA glitterati head for mint juleps in Beverley Hills Hotel’s Bar Nineteen 12. Naturally this is even better when at the end of the night you just slink off your stool and head up to your room. Or somebody else’s.
When you’re not busy chomping down on a celery stick or getting wasted on putrid green juice, there are actually some pretty great places to eat in LA. I like Lilys for good French food and tranquil alfresco vibes. Philippe the Original is one of Downtown’s best known eateries – go for lunch for plastic plates, brusque service and the culinary peculiarity known as the dipped sandwich. For breakfast, try Gjelina on Abbot Kinney – their egg, bacon and kale sandwich is justifiably famous. And no LA food guide would be complete without mentioning a food truck. The taco truck on Rose has the most refreshing ceviche tostadas you can imagine.
Don’t overdo it on Saturday night because LA is all about the Sunday party. Brunch parties at XIV’s outdoor terrace on Sunset Boulevard tend to get a little out of hand by about 6pm. Book Monday off work if you know what’s good for you.
Don your Lyssandra and the largest sunglasses you’ve got for a trip to the iconic Standard rooftop hotel. Vibrating daybeds and ice-cool cocktails served by hot bronzed babes, all topped off with chilled house beats. They had to physically remove me from here the last time. If you want to check out a pool that’s seen more bad behaviour than you have, check out the Tropicana Bar at the Hollywood Roosevelt. Designed by David Hockney, indulge in the retro vibes and party like it’s 1963.
When all the stargazing and bodywatching gets a bit much, decamp to the chic hideaway El Encanto in Santa Barbara, for seaside bungalows hidden behind ample greenery – even for the kind of antics you’re planning.
Yours truly awaits you on Rodeo Drive.