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Miss AP


Have you heard of the Manhattan Diet? It purports to helping you lose weight whilst still leading a fabulous life. I’ve spotted the Tiffany- green cover on tubes, peeking out of handbags and stashed away in the bedside tables of my female friends keen to maintain the upkeep of their French 75 habit whilst still slipping easily into their leather jeans. 

Discussions with said friends and a spot of lurking on Google has led me to believe that there is nothing fabulous about the life dreamt up for the adherents to the diet. 6am spinning classes? Shudder. Watered down wine? As if. 

I’ve come up with a little diet plan of my own and if you’re looking to shed a few pounds in time for the Ibiza opening parties I recommend you try it. It’s called the Miss AP diet and if you follow these few simple steps you might just get to be as fabulous as me. 

1. Coffee and a cigarette is the breakfast of champions

2. Have sex. Lots of it. The more acrobatic the better – have you ever tried doing it on a Pilates ball? Tip from the top.

3. Go out dancing on a Friday night and party past breakfast. You’ll sleep through lunch and find your appetite greatly diminished by dinner.

4. Nuts will keep up your energy up

5. Wear a waspie – you’ll fit less food in.

6. Whipping is great for the biceps. 

7. Reserve whipped cream and hot chocolate sauce for special occasions only.

8. Some like it hot. Add chilli to everything. It raises your metabolism, and your libido (refer to number 3.)

9.  Cold showers aren’t just for hot flushes you know – they shock you into calorie burning. Two birds, one stone. 

10. Vodka on the rocks, please. 

There you have it. To those who say you can never be too rich or too thin, I like to flick a delicate V and say you can never have too much fun. 

Til next time,

Miss AP xx

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